Entry #6 Be Not Troubled

Dear Diary, October 24, 2018 Thursday

I have two favorite smells in the whole world. Laugh if you must. My second favorite but a close tie to first is the smell of newborn baby head. Fresh, brand new, innocent, pure, baby head. Number 2 is Derek smell. It's so silly, but he smells like Derek and it takes my breath away. It's pure, manly, Derek. I could smell a shirt that he just put in the hamper forever. I promise he doesn't smell gross! Laugh all you want it is true. With my favorite smells I can think of no words that describe the joy that come from those smells. It makes sense why smell is one of the 5 senses. It creates unique feelings inside.

As I no longer have any new babies I'm stuck with an old sweater of Derek's. I can't bring myself to wash it. I've smelt it probably 50 times today. It makes my heart happy. Weird and wimpy. Ya. I can admit it, but like I said words can't describe the joy of those pure smells.

Derek's extended family has a group family text message group. I love it so much. Easy access to family updates. And every week his Uncle Rob posts a conference talk from the most recent general conference from church. This week was a talk by Elder Ronald A. Rasband called, "Be Not Troubled". It was actually a favorite of mine from this last conference.

Today was busy, but I took time to listen to the talk again today in the car while driving. One of my favorite quotes from his talk says,
"Optimism, courage, even charity come from a heart not burdened by troubles or turmoil".

His whole talk was on the ways to of course not fear and not be troubled. I have to admit that in my heart before Derek left I was so deeply troubled. I guess being in my shoes it would be hard to not be troubled. Hearing this talk brought peace to my soul. I remembered that I am doing the things in life that can lift my burdens of my heart and be not troubled. And from remembering those things now I have the promise of optimism, courage, and charity.

Those are all things that I want and need. No longer will I be burdened with fear for the future, discouraged about what may or not be in our future, and a love for the service our family is giving to others. Peace. A unique feeling inside similar to how I feel when I smell the things I love.

In other news report cards come out this week. I met with Kael and Elara's teachers today. They have definitely inherited their fathers genes of being smartie pants. All 3 kids have worked so very hard and gotten straight A's. I'm so proud of my children. I was blessed to have good reports from their teachers. Stories of honesty, hard work, and dedication from my sweet Kael. Kael has so much integrity. His teachers told me stories of him reporting errors in their corrections and honestly saying he didn't complete work, and afraid he wouldn't measure up. His bravery to be honest brings tears to my eyes. He didn't realize they were such minimal things. It took so much courage for him to learn and grow. To hearing about my sweet Elara being so empathetic and having so much charity for her fellow classmates. Tonight she prayed for family prayer. She prayed for each classmate that was home sick today by name that they would be well and able to come to class. She lifts those around her, encourages them, and has so much compassion. I'm so blessed to see that when I volunteer in her class.

All four of my children take after their Dad. No wimpy genes at all. They are just stuck with a wimpy Mom who cries as she sees their faces bringing joy to the world.

Sincerely,
A Very Wimpy Mom Tonight