Entry #23 He’s Home!!!! “Smell”

Dear Diary,

I just went through the longest yet best day yesterday. To prove the ultimate wimpy factor for myself I somehow did not plan for the civilian world to be another factor somehow delaying his return. In my mine everything was going to be wonderful and on time.... So when it wasn’t and my perfect dream of walking up to him with the kids was crushed it was pretty devastating and wimp factor 1000 came out. Luckily Captain Wimpy Pants has the BEST family who were able to swoop in and save my day. If I was waiting alone for him with the kids I may have gone to a public toilet and cried myself a good something, but I wasn’t alone....

No we all piled in our cars and went to Chick Fil A and it was the best so take that San Antonio Airport for not putting a chick fil a in your airport!!!

Then after a couple MORE hours the absolute best thing happened!!!! He came home!!!! He walked down the steps and he saw his beautiful children with his beautiful face and he was ours again!!!!


I am SO grateful for ALL the help we have received from friends and family members. The longest, hardest, wimpiest almost 7 months and somehow we made it and came out stronger!

I bawled like a baby just watching him hug his children. Kael just stood there dumb stuck and I asked what was going through his head. He replied, “I feel like crying mom!” So I told him to CRY I was crying and it’s ok! These are happy tears and to get over there and not leave his Dad’s side. And he did. He cried and hugged his Dad and it was the sweetest reunion. He NEEDS his Dad. It was beautiful.

We made it home and I am pretty sure the dogs missed him more than me somehow... I’m not sure how that’s possible, but they went nuts. Absolutely nuts!!! It was hilarious.

And now it’s 5 am and I can’t sleep because he is laying here next to me and I can smell him!! It is the best smell and that is why God gave us 5 senses because my husband smells AMAZING!!! His presence is calming and perfection.

I’m not sure how this wimpy Mom survived, but we did it and the joy after all the heartache and missing and longing is beautiful!

Just for the smell of him....


I’ve got a husband to smell to I’m going to be a little busy so don’t be sad if I don’t write for a while diary.


Love,
Wimpy Mom

Entry #22 Memories

Dear Diary,

One last wimpy post before he comes home. I'm so ecstatic that in less than 24 hours I will get to hug and kiss my best friend again. I no longer think of experiences in life as "the hardest thing I have ever done". I just can't compare because I feel like I have done MANY hard things in life. They are all just different.

However, the feeling inside on a good day is ALWAYS a good day. All the difficult days were worth it for this feeling of joy and anticipation. I have missed my best friend and he is almost home.

I don't ever want to forget what this feels like. Time will pass and then eventually we will have to do this again. I can't process that yet, but I know I have accomplished something awesome and I'll take that even if I was wimpy while doing it.

I want my kids to know I am proud of them. This was not easy for them also. They were able to realize time passes though and we can have joy in the journey. I think we made a lot of good memories and had some really great letters, phone calls, texts, pictures and facetime with Dad. We were blessed with awesome technology to communicate with him while he was gone which really kept him a part of our lives.

This next year is going to bring many more "different' challenges and memories. Today though we are finishing our first deployment. We rocked it! We are stronger and happier because of it. We did something tough and we succeeded.

Now somehow I need to sleep so I can actually function tomorrow, except I think I'll be good until I crash. Feel like we are about to go to Disneyland or have 10 Christmas's in a row. So many happy emotions.

Did I mention Captain Wimpy Pants comes home TOMORROW May 9th?! Because he does. And he can help this wimpy Mom out, because somehow I will always be a wimp, but I will be a stronger wimp because of him.

Peace out deployment, I'm done with you!

Sincerely,
Wimpy Mom

Entry #21 I don't know...

Dear Diary,
    First, I just don't know what to write. I have failed to keep up writing as time went on. As usual. I over booked myself the last 3 months. The kids all wanted to do soccer, so what do I do? I sign them all up for soccer. It was so much work. SO much work, but we had SO much fun. The challenge of getting up early on a Saturday to make an 8 am rainy game was so worth the headache for all the fun memories. Cheering on siblings and improving and supporting each other. Not to mention it was nice to stay busy while Dad was gone.

    It is a surreal experience being on the other side of the deployment. I can remember this time last year finding out that Derek would be leaving. An entire year ago, which seems a life time. Knowing that we volunteered for this journey did not make that news any less crushing of a reality and having to face it. Something I have learned from this experience is that life really is about the choices we make. We get to decide how we feel about our life circumstances. We get to decide if we are happy or not. We get to decide the journey, and how we want to handle it. Choice or agency is one of the greatest gifts from God, and I am grateful for the choices my family has made.

    We chose to be happy, and to love others. We chose to serve our country. This was not the way we imagined serving others initially, but it has been such a unique and uplifting journey. We have learned so many new things, and we are definitely stronger from this journey. I'm glad we didn't choose an easier route. I feel like we have been broken down and built stronger.

    I am looking forward every second of every day to see Derek again. Losing my Dad and Rick has shown me real loss, and so the joy I feel being able to see Derek again is so sweet and so special. It's so close. Seeing the joy come on the kids faces when they talk of seeing Dad again is so precious.

     I have been told recently by several people it seemed like the time flew by and that he only just left, and then it is followed by the same question how did it seem for you? When you aren't thinking of a person every second of every day the time does pass for that. For me, there were times when the time was extremely fast, but most of the time it went backwards. Keeping focused on the children and their needs was a good distraction and helped, but there wasn't a day that went by that I wasn't thinking of Derek and hoping he was well. Or worried something might go wrong. So yes, it went quickly, but in other ways it was an eternity.

     I look forward to helping someone else in the future who is going to face this journey. It is unique, and special, but so rewarding if you just want to do a little good in the world.

    So, here at the end of the journey, I guess I feel gratitude. Gratitude for all the help we have received. Gratitude that we made it, and safe! Gratitude for so many things. For changing and becoming stronger and the person and family we are now.

    I had a friend tell me last night that when we are newly married with young children and still in school we have the mentality that if we just get through med school then things will get better, then if I just make it through residency then things will get better, then on and on. If older Sharice could go back to younger Sharice I would laugh at myself. I have ALWAYS implemented the quote "Find joy in the journey", but I feel like more now than ever. Life is LIFE. There will ALWAYS be challenges, and hardships to face. It's the choices we make and our attitude that determine how well we will conquer and succeed in this life. I have gratitude for every step of this journey so far. I am SO grateful to Derek for bringing me an the kids along for this ride. I LOVE our life together. Life is better because we are a we. Goodness I miss him and each step closer he gets to home my heart gets more full and feels like bursting.

My Dad use to say, " When Derek is gone, we all miss Derek", because I would talk non stop about missing him, so everyone had to miss him with me. Except this is true. We all miss Derek. And in 3 short days that ache can go away and I am GRATEFUL!


Random thoughts for the night.

The kids started swim team tonight. It was a challenge since they haven't swam hard since last summer. Poor Elara was so exhausted, scared of drowning, and suffered through it. There were tears, but I think she will make it. Connor loves the water and loved his time in the water. Kael and Eden are excited to become better swimmers.

Soccer is officially over for spring. The last games for everyone were canceled and it was a sad day. We are officially getting ready for Dad to get home. The last "We serve too" club meeting is tomorrow. That has been such a huge blessing for the kids.

One day at a time.

Love,
Wimpy Mom

Entry #20 Thoughts on google dictionary, speech, fish and loaves of bread

Dear Diary,

Inadequate. That is how I feel tonight. Inadequate...  Google dictionary describes the word as an adjective. Meaning: lacking the quality or quantity required; insufficient for a purpose.

My purpose is to take care of my family. To help those around me. To provide a loving home, that is safe, and cultures learning and growth. And to help my children grow in every aspect they need.

With all those beautiful things I get to do, I just have been feeling lacking and insufficient in all that I am doing for my family. It is NEVER enough. There just isn't enough of me to accomplish everything.

I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself because probably every mother in the world feels like they need 3 more of them self copied and one Mom for cleaning, one Mom for driving kids everywhere, one Mom for medicine, one Mom for homework, etc. There are a lot of roles to fill being a Mom. Especially a Mom with a husband deployed who is quite wimpy.

Connor was in speech therapy until about a year ago when he just barely qualified to get out of speech... In my joy, I said I would continue to work with him at home. After all, starting in the fall he and I would be home alone while the 3 big kids were at school. Then, we moved during the summer. Then, Derek deployed and all my hopes and dreams of one on one with Connor somehow didn't turn out how I wanted and I became so inadequate to fulfill his speech requirements.

I had him retested today, and he is at a new 3 year old level and he turns 4 at the end of the next month or in 33 days to be precise. So not a huge deficit, but enough.

Why isn't there a magic button for Mom's that is a loud announcer that shouts out, "Don't be down, you are doing ok, keep going!" every time life gets chaotic. Or, "it will be ok and I promise your kid will turn out a normal human being who thrives in society someday."

I guess that's why God gave us church. It must be that little announcer for us... Our new program at church is called, "Come Follow Me". We are learning in the New Testament and tonight while reading an awesome quote came up right as I was feeling "inadequate". 


"Have you ever felt inadequate to meet all the needs you see around you—in your home, in your relationships, or in society? Jesus’s disciples must have felt inadequate when He asked them to feed over five thousand hungry people (see Matthew 14:21) when there were only five loaves of bread and two fish available. As you read about the miracle that happened next, ponder how God might use your humble offerings of service to bless those around you."

So, I guess what I learned tonight is that my meager 5 loaves of bread, and 2 fish I have for my kids is enough. They will get what they need. I just need a little faith, and to not give up on them. I know I didn't "fail" Connor by not working harder on his speech. There were a million other strings pulling me in other directions... I got my family moved, my husband deployed, Thanksgiving, Christmas, school, piano lessons, soccer games, sick snuggles, LOTS of sick snuggles, and a LOT of love with those few loaves of bread and fish I have had to offer the last year.  I just need to replenish them and keep giving what I have and let the Lord take on the rest I guess.

Then, before I know it Captain Wimpy Pants will get home and I can pass the torch on to him for a while.

Wimpy Mom fried brains is starting to stink up. It must be time for bed. Until I can form another coherant thought.
Good night and adieu,

Wimpy Mom

Entry #19 Wimping by. Kind of like gimping by. I know it's not that funny. Laugh anyway ok.

Dear Diary,

Did I mention I through this amazing dance party last month? See what I miss out on being too wimpy to write in my diary...

For Valentines Day, Captain Wimpy Pants (aka My husband/ kids Dad who is making us wimpy) sent the kids these amazing gorgeous pop up Valentines cards. They were amazing! Kael got a dragon, Elara a unicorn rainbow, Eden a lady bug , and Connor a train. Mine was a hedgehog on a mushroom and SO cute. He also somehow managed to have flowers shipped to me. Made my box I shipped him with swedish fish, and cadbury eggs look pathetic.

It really was so sweet. Shortly after on the 22nd of February I through a Daddy/Daughter Dance for activity days. It is our church program for girls ages 7-11. Derek's cousins Andrew and Blake took Elara and Eden to the dance. Kael was so sick I took him to the doctor that day. He and I had been sick forever.

The dance was amazing if I say so myself and I do. I put a TON of work into it. There was a photo booth, everyone got to decorate their own cupcake, they decorated tiaras, the music was amazing, we filled 500 balloons for a balloon drop, we had bubbles, and spent all day decorating. I have really enjoyed working with the other activity days leaders. It has definitely been fun even though it's also crazy at times. We have almost 20 active girls for only 3 leaders.

The next day was the pinewood derby. Andrew and Blake had also put in a ton of work helping Kael build his pinewood derby car. He wanted to win so badly and to have a pretty sweet looking car. They taught him so many things and had him help all along the way. It was such a great experience. Kael ended up taking 3rd place for the webelos and 4th place for the entire group of about 26 boys! We felt like that was a huge win and was so fun to actually have such a fast car!

I am just so grateful for all the angels in our lives while Derek is gone. We have been so blessed this entire journey. Family and friends have really stepped up to make sure we have a positive experience and our whole family is so grateful.

The 3 big kids started playing soccer at the end of February and life has gotten crazy busy! Soccer practices during the week and games all day on Saturdays.

March brought spring break. We kept busy ALL week and it turned out to be really fun. Soccer games kicked us off March 9th, church on the 10th. On Monday the 11th we did a beach trip in the morning and it was so worth the exhaustion to see the waves. The kids even got in. I wasn't brave enough and didn't want to drive home wet. Wimpy Mom cannot stand driving for hours wet and sandy. Eden had soccer practice that night because we don't take a break from kids activities during spring break apparently. Then, Tuesday we went to How to Train Your Dragon 3. It was amazing. And yes, I cried, because wimpy Mom's cry at everything. Then, more soccer practice and gymnastics. Wednesday was another fun movie that was an oldie. We saw Matilda at the theater and it was super fun watching it with the kids. That day brought more soccer practice, and gymnastics. Before practice though Kael noticed Merlin was looking off. He actually started having seizures. Our poor lizard was SO sick. I was able to get him an appointment at the veterinary clinic. We brought him in and it turned out Merlin was dying... It was so sad. They kept him over night in hopes maybe he would get better. The next morning he actually looked worse and we had to make the very sad decision to put Merlin down. It was a long couple of days and was so hard for both the kids and myself. Our sweet lizard had been such a good friend to us. His lights were always a comfort for me and he was just so sweet.

Thursday morning the kids had piano lessons and then we went to say goodbye to Merlin. We got to bring him home in a box. I then had a CT scan for my sinuses that won't ever heal. We had plans to go camping in San Marcos with our family and they were so kind to let us bury him up there. Kael passed off several scout certifications with the help of Derek's cousins. We had a huge fire and roasted hot dogs, sausage and marshmallows. We had to hold Connor back from the fire because the kid loved trying to walk right into it. I made a smash cake for Juli's birthday. It was so fun. The boys up there decided to make her a high chair to eat the cake in. It is going to be a fun new tradition.

The weather was absolutely perfect for camping and was so fun. Only thing that could have made it perfect was if my air mattress didn't deflate in the middle of the night. We came home Friday and I got medicine because the CT showed I have a sinus infection that I've basically been fighting since the beginning of January! It was nice to finally realize something is in fact not right and I have been feeling lousy for a reason. I got put on 3 more weeks of antibiotics. Then, the preparations for the weekend began because we had an 8 am soccer game the next morning. Soccer was super fun on Saturday. Sunday, Connor gave his first ever talk in church and it was so cute and so sweet. I am so proud of him!

Monday was back to school and the fun festivities were over. The busy routines are back and we are plugging along as hard as we can until we can take a break and see our Captain Wimpy Pants when he gets home in less than 2 months!!! Can you believe that!? Miracles do happen and time does pass, some days slow and some days fast, but it is always passing whether we want it to or not.

Our sweet Eden turned 9 on March 18, 2019. She has been looking forward to this birthday probably since the day after her birthday last year. She decided she wants a friends birthday party, which will take place this coming Friday. On the day of though I brought her cupcakes for her class at school, and got her McDonalds for her lunch and ate lunch with her at school. She was so sweet and so happy and said life was so good she felt she didn't need any presents. She is such a kind girl and is so fun to be around. She is always happy and energetic and is such a wonderful daughter and sister. She is so good to always try and include her siblings especially Elara. I'm so proud of the young lady she is becoming. For her birthday dinner she wanted breakfast for dinner. Then, she had soccer practice that night and when we got home she got to open her presents from Mom and Dad and her birthday cards from Grammy, Grandma Heaton, and Grandma Sapp.

The girl is spoiled, but it was so worth it to see her face as she was spoiled. She got a $45 shopping trip with Mom for clothes, 3 new pairs of earrings with one as her birth stone, and a karaoke machine.

We sure love her so very much! Then we proceeded to give her birthday spanking through the birthday tunnel. She happily obliged.

Now it is prep for her friends party. It should be amazing. Pokemon games and Pokemon themed everything. She told me she wanted a "Bulbasar" themed party. I had to use google for that, and it turns out it is pretty fun with lots of ideas to pull from.

We are staying so so busy, but it really does help pass the time because the anticipation of Captain Wimpy Pants getting home is growing exponentially.

It is so late. I need to stop. Maybe just maybe I can find time to write more often so it won't take this long next time... Or not.

Entry #18 Wimpy Mom Vomit

Dear Diary,

I've decided people don't want to hear about how someone who is going through a difficult time is "really" doing. It's a polite way of saying hello is all... If you answer cheerfully, "Life is hard, but we are managing, and we've made it this far and by golly we are gonna do great!" They love it and makes them feel good because they were considerate of you, but don't have to do anything.

If you answer more truthfully, "Do you REALLY want to know?" Life sucks most of the time, it's really hard, I don't know how to stay on top of everything, but I know you don't want to really have to put in time that you don't have to find a way to help, so please don't feel bad, and now you know it's hard and that's really how I'm doing."

Then, they feel like crap because they don't know how to help you not that they probably could help, but they just leave feeling weird, like wow sucks to be her...

It's better to just politely smile and get on with life and if you really do need help with something to think of someone specifically to help, or nothing gets done.

I'm a wimp though and hate asking for help.

Some things on my to do list haven't gotten checked off since right after Derek left...
-Still can't figure out what kind of edging line I need to buy.
-Still need to dump old gasoline and buy new gasoline for my lawn mower.
-Million kids school papers to file.
-Light bulbs purchased and changed out.
-And the never ending to do list goes on...

If anyone wants to accomplish those things for this wimpy Mom I'd grately appreciate it.

The point of all this isn't to make people feel bad, or to complain... I guess I've just been thinking a lot lately, do people REALLY want to know how I am doing when they ask?

I don't always get asked "how" I'm doing... Now it's how long has he been gone? Oh that's great you've come so far... To which sometimes I feel like wanting to scream I still have forever to go...

But I put on that smile and do my best to hold my crap together.... Because although I am wimpy, I am also polite.

I've really been feeling down lately. More like a roller coaster, I feel super powered at some moments and then others to be honest I'm sitting on the floor bawling like a baby. (totally allowed on wimpy mom blogs) Like the time two days ago when I kicked a soccer ball and sprained my thumb. That hurt... "Another long story"

I've been finding it getting harder and harder to be positive and have really felt lost lately. I've been told I am enthusiastic and happy, and the longer this goes on the less I feel that way, or not the less I am, but the less I "want" to be enthusiastic and happy, and at times it feels like I'm losing it... Coo coo crazy pants. I'd like to blame the winter blues for making me so wimpy this last month.

BUT, it's time to change. I can be wimpy AND positive. And I'm going to look for the positive, happy, good things for the next 3 1/2 months. Because even if it is the downhill finally, it is a VERY long hill to go down...

Now, that being said, funny stories. Derek got the kids Just Dance for Christmas. Almost every night before bed we have a dance off party. Kael wins EVERY single time. He hops around and sticks out his tongue, but he WINS! It's rather funny and it's something even Connor can get into.

The dentist at the kids last dentist appointment told Elara to start wiggling one of her baby teeth because the permanent tooth is growing in behind it. I've been lazy and not wanting to wiggle it... She REALLY wants it out though. She just doesn't have the strength to get it wiggly because without the other tooth pushing it out it is basically stuck.

So, last night she got really brave and we got dental floss and she wanted us to try slamming the door to pull the tooth out. We tried about 5 times and the knot would come untied. She was never afraid and just kept wanting to try even though I'm sure it had to hurt a little.... She was so excited to tell Heidi what we did, and try again tonight.

Heidi knows her stuff and knew the tooth wasn't wiggly enough so she was cranking on the tooth. We tried thread this time and made it double thick and did like 10 knots. When we slammed the door the thread just snapped off! She wanted to try again so we did and it happened again. It made it slightly more wiggly and the thread was still attached to her tooth so she had Kael grab the thread and yank really hard! The thread just broke again. It got a little more wiggly and bled, but I think more because she scratched her gums.

She is SO brave and wants to just keep trying. Hopefully we get the tooth out soon so the other tooth has some room to grow. I can't believe how brave she is.

She was also super excited to tell us tonight her teacher is going to have a baby. Her cute face was so fun hearing her tell the story. She also got picked to have a speaking part in her music class performance!

Kael is such a sweet big brother. Elara cried for about 30 minutes after school because Kael and Eden got to go to a friends house to play and she didn't. When Kael got home and heard he went up to talk to her and promised her he would play minecraft with her and to not be sad. What big brother does that?! He is amazing!

Eden can do a back bend all on her own now. She went to karate tonight and was so excited she convinced her class to try and do the splits! She is always so happy and energetic. She is such a light and always sees the good even when life is hard.

I'm worried about Connor's speech. I think he is starting to have more vocabulary, but I'm not sure about his comprehension... I should probably get it checked out, but it is just one more thing on the list...

Freya has scratches on her nose that have me worried... I'll probably take her to the vet. And thankfully Odin is all vaccinated for another year! No reaction this year and he did great. A lot more expensive though.

I don't know if I ever wrote about Heidi coming to stay with us. As I try to remember the positive, Heidi is definitely the most positive part of our lives. Heidi is Derek's cousin and is going to Physical Therapy Assistant school. She is basically the coolest person I know and has become my favorite girl roommate ever. Heidi's school was about a 2 hour drive from San Marcos in traffic, so she asked to live with us during the week. I LOVE having our spare bedroom and I am so happy she is here.

I have definitely needed her as a friend, and she helps with the kids, and makes us all feel so happy whenever she is around. She is one of my favorite people ever. I'm so excited, happy, and overjoyed she will be here with us until Derek gets back. If I can't have Derek then Heidi is definitely the next best thing.

Heidi listens to what I like to call Mom vomit. She has taken on Derek's roll of coming home and hearing all about my day. Whatever random thought enters my mind, Heidi gets to hear all about it. And I don't know how she does it, but she listens, has all the right reactions, and laughs with me every time. It's amazing.

And for my grand finale. Heidi and I were cleaning up the dishes tonight because have I mentioned how cool Heidi is? She helps do my dishes people! So she washed and I was drying and putting away dishes and I went to a bottom shelf and opened the cupboard and I screamed like a a a I don't know I screamed REALLY LOUD and yelled and ran away and slammed the cupboard shut.

Heidi was laughing what is it?!

A COCKROACH! A GIANT COCKROACH! Yes, I squealed/yelled...

So, I got the spray and Kael came running in to our rescue. He emptied the cupboard and sprayed the nasty thing! Kael has definitely took man of the house seriously and he is so brave. haha

Heidi then looked and laughed and said, "It's big, but not as big as I imagined". Probably because I screamed so loud. haha

Wimpy Mom!

Then, Kael got the mini vacuum and sucked that baby up and put it in the trash.

THE END!


Love,
Wimpy Mom

PS: I miss Captain Wimpy Pants

Entry #17 100 down

Dear Diary,

In kindergarten they make a big deal about the 100th day of school. It's pretty awesome. They usually have a party and do crafts that represent 100 or something along those lines. I should know my 3rd kid is in kindergarten this year and the 100th day of school is coming up next month.

Derek has reached his 100 day mark away from us, and you know what? I feel pretty accomplished. We are close to the half way mark depending on when he gets back of course. It's been long, eventful, and a lot of work, but I'm certain one day I'll look back and be glad we went through this growing experience. Today was a good day. I got the kids to school on time. I exercised and did some squats. I played with Connor. Took a short nap. Worked on some projects. I walked and picked up the kids from school. The weather was beautiful. I went to a friends house for dinner and pizza. The kids got to play. We cheered on the young women from church playing volleyball. They took 1st place. And we came home and got ready for bed. It's a lot of work doing all of that by myself. And I did it. And we all had fun along the way. So, 100 days is a big accomplishment and I think I'll go to bed feeling pretty good tonight. 100 down. About 100 more to go.

If only I could have 100 entries by the time he got home.... Nahhh I'm too wimpy for that.

Love,
Sharice

Entry #16 Back peddling

Dear Diary,

Do you remember how awkward and weird it feels to peddle backward on a bike? It's NOT normal. Your body is so used to doing one thing and then trying to mentally keep your brain telling your body to do what it doesn't want to do is complicated. Just writing that and reading it out loud sounded complicated.

That is going to be my post today. I am back peddling. So much has happened since we left for Christmas at Grandma's. To tell the whole story would take a week, and I'm trying to accomplish it in one night. Good luck to me I guess. Then, just try and get my Mom brain to remember every important detail my children experienced is just going to make me cry for the lack of memory.

Let's stick with the "important details". The trip began after the kids had a half day of school. They had hot chocolate and read the polar express. Hundreds of little children touching things and mouths and it was bound to happen that disease would spread. I had already been to the doctor for the cold that would never leave my body twice before we left on this trip. We stopped in El Paso, Texas and stayed at an Embassy Suites. The best hotel EVER. We got a great breakfast the next morning and we were on the road to Uncle Jake and Aunt Nicole's house.

 While Derek is gone I promised to go to the temple once a month while he is away. I was able to go in November when it opened back up. December I was sick and so busy every second that I couldn't go before we left. I knew it would be basically impossible to go while traveling so I made a great way to include the kids in my adventure. We decided to stop at as many temples that we could along the road on our journey. It was awesome!

The first temple we stopped at was the Gila Valley, Arizona temple. It was literally on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere as we were driving and was the perfect first temple.

We arrived at Uncle Jake's around dinner time. The kids played, we grabbed some cafe rio for dinner and then we went to bed, except poor Eden woke up and threw up in the middle of the night. The next morning she was still sick as could be.

We had plans to visit with Grandma Sapp and wanted a cousin get together but the pukes were getting in our way. We decided to head over anyway and do a road side visit and then head to Shannon's house so we would be on that side of town for the trip and to get to Mom's car and pack and just be ready.

Along the way we made sure to stop at the Mesa temple where Grandma and Grandpa Heaton were sealed in the temple. It was completely under construction and looked nothing like it did when they got married, but it was a special place for us and I'm glad we were able to stop.

We had a lovely short stop at Grandma and Grandad's. Kiddos stayed in the van so as not to spread our germs. It was so nice to see them even if it was brief. The kids were spoiled rotten and we were on the road to Shannon's when what to our surprise the 3rd temple on our trip was again on the same road we were traveling on. We made a brief stop at the Phoenix temple that was literally about 2 minutes from Shannon's house.

Poor Eden was sick all day Friday at Shannon's, but thankfully slept ok. Saturday morning we woke up and got on the road to head to Grandma's house. Along our journey poor Elara threw up in the car. We had several hours left to go on the trip.

We decided to stop on the way and visit Dad's grave in Moccasin. I'm so glad we took the time then so we didn't feel rushed to take it on the way home. We snagged a picture with the kids. It was so beautiful. The sun was almost down as we drove in and the mountains were just beautiful. It was a crisp, cold evening of perfection and felt right.

When we pulled into Aunt Shelly's house Kael started to feel sick. We chatted with Uncle Jer for a bit and decided we needed to get to Grandma's house and take care of our sickos.

Sure enough that night Kael was sick and the next morning Eden was again. It was so hard having round robin. We ended up skipping church and staying at Grandma's so we wouldn't expose anyone.

Then on Monday Christmas Eve we were finally feeling a bit better. We got some last minute shopping done and last minute preparations for Christmas. We were able to gather Shellianne's kids, Shannon's kids, and my kids and all go caroling at Grandma's neighborhood. Shannon and the girls played ukelele's and it was so cute! I'm so proud of those sweet kiddos. It was fun. Then we headed back to Grandma's for hot chocolate and a cousin gift exchange. They all had names drawn and had to think of an ornament that fit that cousin's personality. It went perfectly! I was so impressed with each cousin came up with. It was such a fun tradition and I feel like we should try to do it again another year. My kids had a great time learning about their cousins and putting some effort into a gift that would mean something for many years. And in return they received gifts that meant something to them.

Kael received a pokemon ball ornament, Eden a blue reindeer, Elara a baby doll, and Connor a train ornament. All were perfect for the kids.

Then when the cousins left we were able to do our tradition of putting all the presents under the tree. It was so fun. It was so late so we hurried and got ready for bed. Then Grandma and Mom got to watch a show by ourselves while the littles slept.

At 6 am Connor started to not feel so great. He woke up with a stomach ache... With everyone awake we decided to set up facetime for Derek and it turned out just perfect timing for him to watch. He was awake and not working, which I felt extremely grateful for. Shortly after opening the presents poor Connor got really sick and the throw ups started...

I'm just glad we made it through Santa Clause presents first. Sure enough Santa Clause made it to Grandma's house and found our family. That man seems to know our Dad's crazy work life and how to best take care of our familly.

We had a wonderful relaxing day. Grandma took the 3 big kids who were finally feeling well to Aunt Shelly's house and I stayed home with sick Connor and we both slept and relaxed, which to be honest was exactly what I needed for a Christmas present.

The next day was the epic cousin kickball get together. We had such a blast meeting up with almost ALL of our cousins. We were only short about 3 cousins total. Grandma stayed home with sick Connor who thankfully hadn't thrown up that morning. We decided to meet at Arctic Circle for lunch and had Grandma bring Connor. He got a little excited to eat and ate more than he should have along with an ice cream cone. As we walked out he ran outside to the front door and threw up all over me and him and the ground.... Poor dude was still not feeling great...

It was pretty dramatic and I have the best family. My Mom and Shannon helped cleaned up and back to Grandma's we went for a nap and to hang tight for a while.

On the 27th Shannon and I took the kids swimming at Grandma's pool and then showered and headed to Aunt Shell's for dinner. Eden tried out her new mermaid fin and tail. And Kael tried out his new swim flippers. Indoor pools are the best. And Shannon and I enjoyed soaking in the hot tub.

Friday the 28th we had fun prepping to go skiing. That was one of Eden's gifts and one for myself. We went night skiing at Brian Head and it was so much fun. It was absolutely freezing. -1 F to be precise and I am so proud of Eden! She got better snow gloves and she didn't complain about the cold and she went down the mountain about 6 times! We went with Josh, Emily, Shannon, Rebekah, and Shell and it was a super fun group and after we stopped at Denny's for some food. It was a late night, but I'm so glad I had that opportunity to go with my sweet Eden. I'll treasure that memory forever. She had so much fun and I loved being able to do something special with her!


Saturday the 29th I visited with my friend Ashley Higbee from high school. I wish we had more time for our kids to play and catch up. She is one of my favorite people in the world and she means so much to me. After our visit we got on the road to drive to Salt Lake City to visit our Grammy! Along our journey we stopped at our 4th temple the Cedar City, temple. I had never seen it yet, so it was a treat for me. And the kids hadn't played in snow yet and there was snow on the ground. Poor Connor stomped through it and reached down with bare hands to grab it so excited and about 5 seconds later held his hands in the air and cried ahhhhhhh.

We got our picture and grabbed some food and got on the road. It was great having time to visit with Kelly and Mark. The next morning Sunday the 30th we went and visited with Monica and Ryan Fowler and their kiddos. My kids LOVE their cousins and it was so fun being able to spend time with them. That saying the church used to always say, "It's about time" is so true and I'm glad we put forth the effort. We were able to stay the morning and go to a duck pond to feed ducks and play in the snow. The kids had a blast. Then, we went and visit the Bartholomew family from when we were in med school. And then on to the Bell family. I can't believe how lucky we are to have so many great friends that we are able to keep in touch with.

On Monday the 31st the girls got to hatch their hatchimal babies. It was so fun and cute. We then went to the zoo with Grammy. Along the way we stopped at our 5th temple the Oquirrh Mountain temple. The zoo was just perfect. It was basically empty because it was so cold, but there were plenty of animals to be had. On the way home we stopped at the 6th temple the Salt Lake City temple. It was fun to take the kids around Salt Lake where we lived for 4 years and sweet Connor has never been. It was our home. It was familiar, but for our children, they do not remember. We totally knew they wouldn't remember, but it was so fun being able to show them what I did with them when they were babies.

We packed up the morning of the 1st and headed back to St. George. I needed to get laundry and all the Christmas packed up. On the 2nd Grandma took the kids and I literally slept all day. It was glorious. I kept thinking I should get up and do something, but then I remembered how I would be driving with the kids the very next morning and just didn't want to adult. I was still sick with a cough/cold the entire trip. Thankfully I got up and worked on the process of loading and packing everything up. That evening Grandma took us to this awesome playground. It had a volcano and dinosaurs. It was so great. Then, we drove to our 7th temple. The St. George temple. My favorite temple ever. It was wonderful to take a picture of my kids where I stood moments after getting married to my best friend. Show them where Kael and Eden were born across the street. I have always loved the St. George temple. It always felt special to me. Its one of the oldest standing temples. It was completed before the Salt Lake temple. It's where Derek and I both got our endowments. It was just special taking my kids there.

After going to the temple Grandma then took us to dinner at chuck a rama. It was so awesome. They had apple beer. And the kids loved picking out their food and as much as they wanted and then of course having ice cream after. It was the perfect way to end our trip. Little did we know how much we needed that Grandma time. We miss her so much already. I'm so grateful for my Mom.

This wimpy girl is crying. I am a wimp. I couldn't have made it this far without my Mom. She took care of me and my kids especially while I was sick that entire time I was with her. And then not only did she take care of me, but I got her sick with a cold too, and helped take care of me and my sick kids along the way. We had so many times where we laughed and cried together and it was nice to not feel lonely.

It's stupid, but part of me is grateful for this stupid deployment because some miniscule part of me can relate to how my Mom and Juli must feel with their best friends on the other side of the veil. Except it's awful because Derek gets to come home to me in a few more months and they have to wait until the next life to see their best friend. And it breaks my heart. I just hope someday I can be half as awesome as these ladies are.

Anyway, on January 3rd we said our goodbyes and got on the road. It was really hard. Can't lie. Remember this is a WIMPY blog... I do have the best kids in the world "most days" and they did pretty amazing for car pooling companions. We made it to Albuqurque, New Mexico that night and pulled into the temple there for temple number 8. We snapped some photos and went on to the hotel. It was colder than I imagined it would be in Albuquerque and there was snow on the ground. We got up fairly early the next morning and got on the road for an 11 hour drive non stop. Around lunch time we made it to Lubbock, Tx for temple number 9. That's right folks we took a picture in front of 9 temples in 4 different states on this trip!
On the car ride home I'm pretty for certain I developed my first ever sinus infection because my head felt like it was going to explode. We made it home, unloaded some stuff and then just went to bed. It was late and I was exhausted.

Needless to say we stayed home and chilled until school started on Tuesday. Like 3 days of just recover. I'm so glad I planned it the way I did. I needed that time to just lay and do nothing....

I went to the doctor that Tuesday got some more medicine. And life went on. The kids went back to school and we are finally getting into a routine. There is a LOT of other stuff going on, but that can be for another story.

For now. I feel like I can finally stop back peddling and just start moving forward again. We are basically at Derek's half way ish point. I'll take it. Because now or in a week in this time frame it officially means we are looking at the downhill of this deployment instead of trudging up a steep hill. I know it won't be smooth sailing, but it'll be an awesome adventure to talk about someday.
If we survive. I am a wimp remember.

Love,
Someone who doesn't really ride bikes anymore

Entry #15 To Grandma's House or Bust

Dear Diary,   December 19, 2018

We are about to get on the road to drive to visit family and go to Grandma's house for Christmas. It is finally the last day of school before winter break. The tests are done, partying is happening and children are excited beyond measure. It is pure joy on their faces at this time of year. I just hope that as we journey I can help them remember the true meaning of Christmas. To always keep Christ in their hearts. To want to give to others and to be secret Santa's and to love all those around them.'

We miss Derek terribly. We feel so blessed to have facetime and to be able to chat with him every once in a while and see his handsome face. The days are long, but it seems like time is passing quickly.

Being sick this whole last month has been draining. I feel like the happy energy has been sucked out and I didn't accomplish all the "fun" things I wanted to, but looking back the kids are smiling and happy and we are progressing each day and that is what is important.

I love these sweet children so much. They work hard every day to better their lives so that one day they can help better other people's lives. Eden invited a friend to church with her. Kael is progressing in scouts and should complete his Webelos badge by the middle of January. Elara is learning more and more every day and Connor is growing and understanding and is so sweet when he isn't the Hulk.

We are SOOOO grateful for Grandma coming and being with our family. It has definitely filled a hole in our hearts and brought us so much joy this season.

As Elfie The Elf would say "To Grandma's or Bust".

So many stories to catch up on next time.

Until Grandma's house.

Love,
Sharice

Entry #14 The Forgotten Carols

Dear Diary,        December 8, 2018 Saturday

It's a lazy Saturday. It's 10:35 and I'm still in my pajamas, but texting Derek always reminds me of all the amazing things my kids do and I just want to write them down and never EVER forget them. I feel like there are so many forgotten carols in my life. Why can't I have a mental type writer always typing and printing out my life story as life goes by? Instead I have my short term memory brain that has to try and jumble it all together.

I feel like I didn't dive into the awesomeness of our ward Christmas party. The pot luck food was AMAZING. I think I tried about 5 different types of potatoes and there were were probably 12 laid out. They always have fun coloring pages and word games for the kids/adults. The program was beautiful. I love singing Christmas songs and I love having my kids participate.

The last part of the program was Santa Clause visiting. What I didn't mention was that Connor had recently seen Santa for the first time. He gets it this year! I don't know if he truly understands Santa will bring him a present, but he knows who he is and he LOVES him. We saw one the other day and they played together and had so much fun, so when Connor saw this Santa he made a mad dash. I had to chase him to keep up. All my kids ran up. They adore Santa and wanted to see him. The bigger kids asked if it was the "real" Santa and I explained he was a helper.

So the line is growing longer and Connor cannot navigate through the tables that are taller than his head. He finally found the line and made a mad dash again and cut in front of EVERYONE to be the first on Santa's lap. I couldn't even get there in time for a photo or see him on his lap. All the adults were laughing and it was simply adorable.

A lady in the ward took photos I'm trying to get that were simply magical. This moment was magical.

I didn't want it to turn into a forgotten carol. Memories should be documented. My children are amazing. They all truly believe in Santa Clause and giving, and love and the Savior. They are good and kind. Kael asked to be surprised for his present from Santa Clause. Eden asked for a pogo stick. Elara asked for a scrapbook to go with her new camera. Connor didn't know he was suppose to ask for something so once all of the Bradley's went through and Kael was the last he jumped back over and whispered (shouted) he wanted Paw Patrol toys.

Anyway, it seems like magical moments like this happen every day in my life. Some small way or another. Elara took a photo of Kael and Eden and Elfie the Elf on Pirate Pete's shoulder. Yes, our family is weird and that probably made no sense to anyone other than those who live in the walls of my house, but it was magical. So sweet. Kind. Good. That is who my children are. And those moments will not be forgotten.

At least not today.

Love,
Wimpy Mom

Entry #13 Grandma Arrives to save the wimpy family

Dear Diary,   December 7, 2018 Friday

I'd say tis the season to be "busy" is pretty accurate of life right now. Derek works non stop and the kids are going non stop. Thank goodness Grandma arrived after Thanksgiving. Shannon flew in with my Mom on the 28th and it's been non stop fun and good times since then. You forget how helpful an extra set of hands can be with four kids.

I guess my Mom has been here just about 10 days today. 10 fabulous days. I think just having another adult to chat with calms ones anxieties about life. Getting all the stress out and just giving it away.

We all pretty much have colds now. The coughing is almost a chorus of coughing if you can imagine. Maybe we should try coughing to Jingle Bells...

Exhaustion has kicked in. However, we are well prepared for life. Elfie the Elf has arrived to keep an eye on the children who are starting to become quite wimpy themselves. Chores? Who wants to do chores? Homework? No way. Pajamas? Who needs pajamas. Single parenting is a constant battle. And Grandma is here to whip these wimpy kids into shape. I can't lie the kids aren't that bad. We are struggling to get a routine down, but it is slowly coming along with Grandma's reinforcements.

The cavalry has arrived!

It takes a little longer to get them all in bed when everyone needs cough medicine, vapo rub, humidifiers, and extra snuggles and kisses. Sickness you can leave this house already.... Please. Pretty please with sugar on top.

We leave for Utah in just 12 days. The kids are getting excited! A stop in Arizona to visit cousins and great grandparents and then on to Utah for Christmas celebrations. School is coming to the end of term, and christmas cards and gifts are getting out. The craziness has begun. Present wrapping has begun and the kids have asked Santa for what they want.

Kael asked to be surprised. Eden wants a pogo stick. Elara wants a scrapbook to go with her new camera she won. And Connor asked for Paw Patrol toys.

My ward Christmas party was tonight and it was just beautiful. Singing Christmas songs and seeing Santa and eating yummy food. It never disappoints.

The kids piano recital is approaching on Sunday.

It's all quite exciting.

I think my thoughts are all scrambled. We sure are missing Derek. Have I mentioned that yet? We were able to facetime chat this morning. There is just something special about seeing his face smile that lights up my world and warms my heart. Texting is great being able to stay in touch, hearing his voice amazing and wonderful, but seeing that face drives me crazy to see him again. I love technology and I am SO grateful for it.

Kael started indoor soccer. His team won their first game 4-1. The rest of life is just plugging along. It's been so fun watching the kids grow. Connor gets bigger and talks more every day. He has definitely started to turn into a little boy more than a toddler lately.
7 weeks down. Who knows how many to go? Seriously anyone know? Well, maybe I really don't want to know...
Wimpy Mom is becoming tired Mom. Maybe I'll think of something else to write later.

Sincerely,
Wimpy tired Mom

Entry #12 So sick of being sick

Dear Diary,

I should probably write about Thanksgiving... We made it through the school week before. The kids had a whole week off of school. I had SO many plans I wanted to accomplish. FUN plans.

However, the week turned out to be survival week. Elara got strep throat on Saturday the 17th to kick off our week. We skipped church on the 18th. My sweet neighbor still offered to watch her so we could attend the conference with the Prophet, which I wrote about and it went well.

I look back and mostly it was just exhausting being home with all the kids and sick. I had a cold I could not shake and stayed down most of the week. Looking back though (which is good to do I guess), I got a lot done. We got the Christmas lights hung outside. We put up our Christmas tree. We made a Thankful tree for Thanksgiving.

We were able to spend Thanksgiving with Rob, Julie, Heidi and Jamie Pinkston. It was so fabulous. Elara had a fever of 104 the night before and so our sweet neighbors came the next morning to make sure she was ok. Then, we were able to facetime Derek and it was so wonderful having that time with him.

We took our pies we made and got on the road! We had so much wonderful fun food with our favorite peoples. I made a mississippi mud pie, pumpkin, cherry, and pineapple. SO YUMMY. We also took a green bean casserole up. The food was just SO GOOD. Julie made a feast of turkey, ham, rolls, mashed potatoes, veggies, treats. SO MUCH YUMMY.

We lounged and watched shows, then played some games and then just spent the night there. It was fun to play with the new sweet piggy Fleur. I've always wanted to try an indoor pig, and she did not disappoint us. We were going to stay longer the next day, but Kael got a fever and Elara's came back so Friday we spent the afternoon at the urgent care for just viruses.

We came home and relaxed after some much needed McDonalds. The kids played on the playground and we ordered pizza to be delivered. Best modern day convenience...

We survived. We had fun. We slept a lot. It was a good week.

It is so nice to get back into our groove. It was so needed. I love the kids, but taking care of them all at home while being sick was tough and getting back into a routine and school has helped a lot.

Miss them, but I'm glad they are in school while Derek is gone. My sanity is better when I can work out and have a little break from them all. Being surrounded 24/7 solo parenting is tough!

Do I sound wimpy yet? Being sick in one way or another since before Derek left has taken a toll. I'm a complete wimp. I am really hoping and praying the worst is behind us.

My Mom is coming today and I am beyond excited! Now to just have a small break from being sick.

This kind of is a boring journal entry and not very much fun...

Guess I'll go bathe the dogs.

Boo.

Love,
Wimpy Mom

Entry #11 It is well with my soul

Dear Diary,

The one month mark came and went for when Derek left. Life has had ups and downs. Wimpy moments, survival moments, happy moments, and everything in between. Staying busy has been good, but we've been getting sick along the way and it might be time to slow things down for a while. The weather is finally cooling off and it is wonderful. The kids have been able to play outside and the mosquitoes are not quite nearly so vicious.

We miss Derek. A lot. But, we always have our happy faces on because in reality life is going rather well. The kids are doing well in school. Our weekly activities plug along. The kids sleep in my room probably more than 50% of the time, but I'm loving the extra snuggles and love being with them.

Tis the season for coughs, and sore throats, and watching movies in bed. We finally made it to the Thanksgiving break and it is a much needed reprieve from daily life.

Last night Kael and Eden and I were able to go with some Pinkston's to go to the alamodome and listen to our Prophet President Russel M. Nelson. It was such an amazing experience. Elder and Sister Ochoa spoke along with Elder and Sister Bednar, and last President Nelson and his wife Wendy. It was so much fun to be with family and hear from a Prophet of God.

Here are my quick notes I wrote on my phone during the conference.

Devotional in San Antonio:

Sis. Bednar:

(Life lessons I learned in Texas)
-temple attendance is important.
-Keep the Sabbath Day Holy
-My appearance should reflect my husband’s calling and my calling.
-Joyful experiences (joy school)
Joy comes because of Him.
-Heavenly Father knows who I am.
(For peace)
Unfailing Faith is fortified through prayer.

They always say gather Israel on both sides of the veil.


Elder Bednar:
I am all in.
Marvin J. Ashton 1983
I wasn’t all in my bed, so I fell out of my bed.
Faithfulness is not foolishness or fanaticis.

Sacrifice
For a man to lay down his all requires more than mere belief he is doing all.
It is through sacrifice we know we are doing things that are pleasing to God.
Consecrate
To become dedicated to a sacred purpose. To make yourself available.
Includes sacrifice and much more.
Time, talents, strength, property, money to establish Zion. We promise to develop our best selves to the building of the kingdom of God in earth.
Become the best we can be. Live for the Gospel.

Willing to live for the gospel is more important than being willing to die for the Gospel. I will live for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

The middle of the road will be gone.


Sis. Wendy Nelson:
President Nelson is the Prophet.
Where can I turn for peace?
Night time thoughts come exponentially...
Pen and paper in drawer by bed.

 Stinking amazing!
The Lord instructs his prophet.

94 years old
Foreordained
Premortally

Prepare the world for the second coming on both sides of the veil. Gather Israel.

Everything belongs to Jesus Christ.

President Russell M. Nelson

Davy Crockett has challenges. We all have challenges. Physical, spiritual or both.

Ether:
If men come into me I will unto them their weakness. I give men weakness that they will be humble.
Then I will make weak things be strong unto them.
-because though hast seen thy weakness, though shalt be made strong.

When peace like a river attenders my way. When sorrows like a sea billows roll


It is well with my soul.
With Faith the pain of a tragedy can be endured. If we understand who we are we can understand our purpose.

Absolutely certain we will be resurrected to our proper and perfect frame.

Jesus was born to give us a second birth.

We are children of the covenant with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob. All people will be blessed through their lineage. To gather Israel is our lineage.

Patriarchal blessing
Book of Mormon
Are both to help accomplish the gathering of Israel and convincing of all that Jesus is the Christ.
The promised gathering of Israel has begun.

Teach our children they are a part of the covenant people and they will be raised sin resistant.

Wherefore what manner of men ought he to be? Even as I am.

Whatever challenges or trials come our way:
It is well with my soul.

As difficult as it was to get to this devotional there were also tender mercies. I'm grateful for them. Elara got strep throat the night before and I didn't think we would be able to go. I really searched for someone to help watch the little two because I knew it would be difficult to take them. Our sweet neighbors took Connor and sick Elara. Everything worked out and in the end like the song President Nelson spoke of "It is Well with My Soul".

I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving. To have a reason to remember all that I am thankful for. We are so blessed in this life. Having Derek gone serving far away and seeing the tragedies across the globe even through our trials and all the hardships that inevitably come to everyone on this earth we have so much to be grateful for. I'm grateful for a Savior who lifts me up even when life is tough. When I am at my wimpiest moments, He lifts me. He makes it possible for me to answer the people who ask, "how are you doing?" I am able to put a smile and happily say, "it is well with my soul", we are doing really well. And it is truthful. With Derek gone, life is NOT easy. It is so hard. The days are tough, I have been sick, I don't know how I get through each day when I am exhausted, BUT I make it each and every day. I am able to smile. My children are happy and healthy. We are all doing really well. And that is well with my soul.

I give thanks to my Savior because without Him it would not be possible. I am so grateful for Derek. Serving oversees is not easy, but he is such an example to me of who I want to be. He is an amazing Father and I am so grateful he is the father of our children. He loves them so much and they look up to him and he is the best example for them. He loves me so very much and tells me every single day that is possible. I love him so very much. We have wonderful families who love and support us. House, insurance, stable job, food, clothing, and are so well provided for. How could we not want to give back when we are so blessed! And we are capable of doing this service. I am thankful for this beautitful life. It is well with my soul.

Entry #10 Brain Fog

Dear Diary, November 7, 2018 Wednesday

Why is it that when life is happening you think, oh this might be a fun memory, I should write this down, and then when it comes time to write something down, you have total and complete brain fog about anything and everything that has happened in your life within the last month even. I know we went trick or treating, but what the heck did we do for dinner?? You know the details. Except for me it's about 1 hour later. I know I just made dinner, but what did I do that whole hour before dinner???

Ok, it might be a slight exaggeration, but still it happens! A lot lately apparently.


The real reason might just be a lack of sleep... Kael has been sick still for the last basically forever. His fevers finally went away on Monday the 5th. But the kid is wiped out and thinking about it, so am I. Connor is getting a cough now too, and that's just lame.

So where was I going with this? Oh ya i remember now, after I looked at my last post to remind me what I did last week, because remember I can't remember?!


So, Kael got his blessing on Thursday and it was beautiful and then Friday happened. He woke up feeling a little better, but because he had a fever the day before he still couldn't go to school. Well as Friday progressed he got worse and worse. I finally told him hey buddy we can still go to your soccer game, but you might just have to sit by Mom and watch.

He was so miserable I don't think he cared about not playing, but he was still determined to go. So, Friday night I got him tons of medicine, humidifier and whatever I could do to get him comfortable, and then tucked him in for the night and said a little prayer because I was doubting we would leave the house the next day and was prepping to take him to the emergency room he was getting so bad...

That night around midnight he came in to my room and looked like he had jumped in the shower fully clothed. He was soaking wet because his fever finally broke and he was just completely drenched and couldn't even get his shirt off and he was freezing from being so wet. We got him changed and more medicine, and back to bed. An hour later he came in with his shirt off this time with the exact same problem needing a new shirt. He was soaked again. After that he was fever free and slept the night. He woke up at 7 am and came running in my room. Mom, quick when is my soccer game?! I want to play. Sure enough his fever was completely gone. I told him it wasn't until noon and to go back to bed. Nothing could stop this kid. He was so excited to finally not be stuck laying on a bed or couch completely helpless.

It was a miracle. I literally was prepping to take him to the hospital the night before, and then bam, a happy kid.

I took the kids to piano and then straight to Kael's soccer game where he did great! It was a tough game and they tied 1-1. He was so happy to be there and to support his team.

That night I had arranged for our neighborhood to play nightgames with all the kids. We got glow sticks and they played capture the flag, sardines, and sharks and minnows, which ended with Kael and his friend Ryan colliding and calling it quits. It was a lot of fun and I'm certain we will do it again sometime.

Around 5 oclock though Kael's fever came raging back again. It just would not quit. After some medicine he was able to sleep.

He felt pretty lucky to stay home by himself for church. On Monday I finally took him to an urgent care. It was time to just get him checked out. Turns out on top of whatever virus he had, he developed an ear infection also. We got him started on antibiotics on Monday and one more night of a fever and I think he is at least past the fevers. Now his ears bother him and his cough. I didn't even think ears because he hasn't had any drainage.

I'm just glad he is finally doing better. His cough wears him out pretty easily, but he is such a good kid and tries to help out and do his homework. Love that kid so much. So hard to see him so sick. I'm glad he is recovering.

It seems like Connor has caught his cough now though. Thankfully the girls seem to be happy and healthy and strong.

Kael was so worn out after his first day back to school yesterday, but he still really wanted to go to cub scouts, and so he did. I'm so proud of him. I'm proud of his faith to heal, and to be dedicated to working hard to get better and take care of himself, and me as well. He is the best oldest son a Mom could ask for.



In other news... Daylight savings is the worst!!! With all the politicians out there why hasn't anything been done to change this?! I'm sooo tired! Did I mention the brain fog?

 For your viewing pleasure. What I do in the evening when I'm by myself and no children are in my bed.

Thanks for listening diary. I sure wish I could remember what I just wrote about. I better get to bed.

Sincerely,

Forgetful Wimpy Mom

Entry #9 A Wimpy Soccer Player this week

Dear Diary, November 1, 2018 Thursday

It's late, but I can't sleep without writing about how NOT wimpy my boy Kael is. It would be hard to not love this kid. I don't know how we got so lucky to have him as our oldest child. Kael has been sick since Monday. He has suffered through and just been amazing, which makes it break your heart all the more that he is so sick.

Right before dinner Kael mentioned that he was really worried he would be too sick to play soccer and somehow maybe he could play anyway on Saturday. Because he has been so sick he has missed his last two practices. It breaks this Mama's heart. No Mama should have to see their kid become a wimpy soccer player because they are too sick to go to practice. He has really committed himself to learning soccer to play well to help his team and now it seems like it is being taken from him. I made a suggestion and asked him if maybe he would want to ask someone for a blessing to help him. He said he wanted to ask someone. We thought through our neighbors and had Brother Hunter and his brother in law come over. It was such a sweet blessing for this boy. One of hope and courage and a promise that he would be able to be at his soccer game.

It was a great opportunity to talk about faith and the faith he exercised by wanting a blessing. And how he is really hoping now that he will be better. He was told how grateful Heavenly Father is for helping his family daily. As his Mom I am so grateful for Kael. He helps me DAILY with anything I ask of him and so very very rarely complains. He has helped me with Connor even though he has been sick. He tries to keep the girls in line. He helps to clean up messes and always tries to be the best person he can.

I have faith he will be able to go to his soccer game. I love that kid to the moon and back.

In other news, happy November. I could not picture November when it was May. Not at all. That was 6 months ago. There is always an end in sight. The next 6 months will be a blip in time.

Soon enough this all will be a memory. I hope I can make it a good memory for the kids and for our family.

Good night.

Love,
Wimpy Mom.

Entry #8 In the Wet

Dear Diary, Wednesday October 31, 2018 Happy Halloween

So two days ago on Monday Kael walks home from school and says, "Mom I felt awful all day and now I feel miserable." I responded, "Kael, why didn't you go to the nurse?"
"Because Mom, you told me not to".

Let me clarify... I have never told my children to "not go" to the nurse. I have told them to suck it up and deal with their minor irritations, but never to "not go". I had a good laugh and explained it is ok to go when you you feel that bad. Turns out he had a fever and so to the couch with him.

Yesterday he never left the couch. My sweet loving boy so sick. I was so wrapped up in him being sick and trying to keep up on everything I almost forgot Eden's parent teacher conference. I think that is the story for poor Eden... So sweet, understanding, good, and dedicated that she gets forgotten and that breaks my heart. Thankfully when I wrote her teacher for her to ride the bus she reminded me of the conference and thankfully I live a 2 minute drive to the school. Thankfully both boys were sleeping and a neighbor kept an eye on them. And it all worked out and I got to see Eden at school.

Who did go to the nurse saying she felt sick, but when asked if she wanted to go to gymnastics or go home she decided she was much better because she didn't want to miss gymnastics that day...

It was a rough night last night... Connor kept getting out of bed and then around 3 am Kael came in bed with me sick. I got him medicine and then around 5 Connor came back in bed with me. Then, by 6 Connor was throwing up. Gross.

So, all Halloween plans were canceled. I had a friend take the girls to school because I did not want Kael watching Connor for 10 minutes because carma... If I left I knew he would throw up while I was gone. Thankfully no more pukes. But, after I got the girls to school we all snoozed on the couch.

Then, I got into gear and started cleaning and sanitizing everything... I went to mow the grass because I knew it was suppose to rain tonight so I thought perfect timing. Well the lawn mower wouldn't work... Just my luck. It was working 3 weeks ago when Derek was here OF COURSE... It has gas and I just can't figure it out.

That wasn't so bad because whatever the grass can be tall. I went to scrub the girls rug I had airing out and saw in the sunlight it really had a huge yellow pee stain on it... Stupid dogs. I love them but I HATE when they are naughty. So, I went to scrubbing and I could not get the stain out, but I think the smell is gone... (Except remember it had torrential downpour of rain tonight sooooo back to square one)

While cleaning the rug the mosquitoes came out in full force and started eating me alive! Thank goodness for deet. I finally worked on some of that never ending laundry...

The dishes got cleaned and the house too for goodness sake. And then the girls came home from school. And it was party time.

We made mummy hot dogs for dinner. It was so fun. Eden wants to learn to bake and cook and I'm excited because I think she is finally capable to some degree. This next summer will be a fun summer for the kids to learn to really cook.

After dinner we watched Garfield's Halloween. Traditions. I even got some chili out of the freezer for my dinner. As we were watching Garfield's Halloween we got trick or treaters at the door and the kids decided it was time for costumes.

The ran and got them on and we took off and left the candy on the door step. We met up with some friends and Eden ran off with her friend while I took Kael, Elara and Connor. Elara decided she just wanted to stick with us. Well we went one direction and decided to turn around and go to Elara's friend from school Alex's house. We made it right at our house before the rain started...

It reminds me of a song my Dad loved. An old Australian song I believe by Ralph Harris...
It went a little something like this...
In the wet, in the wet, in the wet, in the wet. It gets about as wet as it can get. Well it's raining cats and dogs and I can't stand them croaking frogs. Oh brother it's wet.

Ya that about sums it up.

We ran to Alex's house grabbed some candy and ran in the rain back to our house. The short 2 houses down and across one street completed soaked their costumes and I was done. We did this last year and I was not about to do it again.

So, we changed our clothes, ate some candy, and started a show. By the time we started the show trick or treaters were venturing out so we sat on the porch and handed out candy instead, which was more fun if you ask me. Then, when it calmed down we started storks. Not a scary show, but a happy general consensus. When you have 4 children to get them all to agree on one thing is a nightmare. About a quarter of the way through the movie Eden came home, happy with a pillow case with lots of candy.
The kids finished the show while I 'rested my eyes on the couch'. Then, bedtime. I was so happy for bed. The candy will slowly start going away. The preparation for Thanksgiving can begin, and oh help me please cold weather blow in and get rid of the mosquitoes.

I think in the last 5 years Derek came home from work in time for 1 Halloween... So, in reality it isn't much different than previous years. I'm just glad we did a lot of the traditions and watch a lot of fun Halloween movies with him before he left.

I didn't even write about our flu shot extravaganza. Maybe I'll document that nightmare when Kael finally gets his when he isn't sick.

Dried and warm in bed. I'm sleep deprived so I think I'll go to bed.

Good night Halloween.

Love,
Wimpy Halloween Mom

Entry #7 Fun, fatiguing, fantastic, festive, flamboyant, fabulous Saturday

Dear Diary, Saturday October, 27, 2018

The fatigue of doing it all has set in. That or my squat work out literally kicked my butt. Ouch. So, there you go for wimpy Mom. Can't even handle a squat work out from yesterday!

We have been so busy. I love staying busy. It helps me to not feel wimpy and yet at times it does. Because I am human and I get tired, so I feel wimpy. Makes no sense whatsoever so why did I even write that?... Hmmmm.

When I'm busy I don't have time to complain or wimp out. But, then I get tired and overwhelmed and that makes me feel wimpy. I'm just going to have to stale mate and realize I just can't get out of being a wimp. Did I say this twice? Fatigue is doing me in.

So, Kael had a soccer game at 6 last night. Kids were in bed close to 8:30 and then we got up this morning for another soccer game at 8 am. I have fallen in love with being a soccer Mom. I love cheering for my kids. It brings me so much joy. Driving them around a million places is hard, but the cheering them on part brings on so much euphoria, gratification, cloud nine, joie de vivre (googled it), ya, I feel that! It's fun.

After soccer the kids had a practice for our primary program tomorrow. Dropped them off and then I chased Connor around Walmart to kill time.

Then, we rushed Kael to karate practice. Fed the kids food, cleaned up a little. Dropped Eden off at a friends house and then dropped Kael and Elara off at another friends house. And finally laid down for a nap with just me and Connor. It was so nice. I only slept for about an hour before life came crashing in. I made cookies for the trunk or treat, cleaned the house (ya I really did! Almost all of it), cleaned the van for the trunk or treat and got out costumes and everything ready.

Picked up Eden, got everyone dressed for the trunk or treat and we took off with the Linck family. They were so much fun and I'm so glad we could go together. Sarah was a garden gnome, Robert and Ryan were chickens and Alice was a flamingo. It was so awesome.

Kael was the red lego ninjago Kai. Eden was a scary pirate girl. Elara was a fairy witch. And Connor was Spiderman. I had a small witch hat from the dollar store and put on some red lipstick. Scary enough.

We only lost Connor about 10 times that night. He kept running around the church or out the church doors. It was so frustrating. It was so full that I couldn't keep track of him. Oddly enough he was the only spiderman I saw that night though. Lots of other superheros, but the only spiderman.

The kids all completely filled their buckets with candy. We had two wards combined for the trunk or treat part and so there were like 100 cars lined up easily.

Somehow I managed to get all the children bathed when we got home. Even after bathing the girls and using make up remover they still have make up on their cute little cheeks. I just hope it fades before the primary program tomorrow.

Did I mention the fatigue of doing this all on my own? Cause ya'll (I'm a Texan now), I am TIRED.

Good night diary,

Signed your wimpy fatigued Mom

Entry #6 Be Not Troubled

Dear Diary, October 24, 2018 Thursday

I have two favorite smells in the whole world. Laugh if you must. My second favorite but a close tie to first is the smell of newborn baby head. Fresh, brand new, innocent, pure, baby head. Number 2 is Derek smell. It's so silly, but he smells like Derek and it takes my breath away. It's pure, manly, Derek. I could smell a shirt that he just put in the hamper forever. I promise he doesn't smell gross! Laugh all you want it is true. With my favorite smells I can think of no words that describe the joy that come from those smells. It makes sense why smell is one of the 5 senses. It creates unique feelings inside.

As I no longer have any new babies I'm stuck with an old sweater of Derek's. I can't bring myself to wash it. I've smelt it probably 50 times today. It makes my heart happy. Weird and wimpy. Ya. I can admit it, but like I said words can't describe the joy of those pure smells.

Derek's extended family has a group family text message group. I love it so much. Easy access to family updates. And every week his Uncle Rob posts a conference talk from the most recent general conference from church. This week was a talk by Elder Ronald A. Rasband called, "Be Not Troubled". It was actually a favorite of mine from this last conference.

Today was busy, but I took time to listen to the talk again today in the car while driving. One of my favorite quotes from his talk says,
"Optimism, courage, even charity come from a heart not burdened by troubles or turmoil".

His whole talk was on the ways to of course not fear and not be troubled. I have to admit that in my heart before Derek left I was so deeply troubled. I guess being in my shoes it would be hard to not be troubled. Hearing this talk brought peace to my soul. I remembered that I am doing the things in life that can lift my burdens of my heart and be not troubled. And from remembering those things now I have the promise of optimism, courage, and charity.

Those are all things that I want and need. No longer will I be burdened with fear for the future, discouraged about what may or not be in our future, and a love for the service our family is giving to others. Peace. A unique feeling inside similar to how I feel when I smell the things I love.

In other news report cards come out this week. I met with Kael and Elara's teachers today. They have definitely inherited their fathers genes of being smartie pants. All 3 kids have worked so very hard and gotten straight A's. I'm so proud of my children. I was blessed to have good reports from their teachers. Stories of honesty, hard work, and dedication from my sweet Kael. Kael has so much integrity. His teachers told me stories of him reporting errors in their corrections and honestly saying he didn't complete work, and afraid he wouldn't measure up. His bravery to be honest brings tears to my eyes. He didn't realize they were such minimal things. It took so much courage for him to learn and grow. To hearing about my sweet Elara being so empathetic and having so much charity for her fellow classmates. Tonight she prayed for family prayer. She prayed for each classmate that was home sick today by name that they would be well and able to come to class. She lifts those around her, encourages them, and has so much compassion. I'm so blessed to see that when I volunteer in her class.

All four of my children take after their Dad. No wimpy genes at all. They are just stuck with a wimpy Mom who cries as she sees their faces bringing joy to the world.

Sincerely,
A Very Wimpy Mom Tonight

Entry #5 Pirate Pete must DIE: again...

Dear Diary, October 23, 2018 Tuesday

If Monday's are manic than Tuesdays are frantic. Elara got a headache today and the school nurse insisted I bring her something to help her go back to class or take her home. So Connor and I loaded up in the car and checked on her. I brought some tylenol in case it was really bad. I think she is just being "wimpy" and misses Dad, or was tired, or just needed some attention or a break from school. Whatever it was probably a small headache she just needed love. It was a joy to see her smile again when I said I would stay with her for lunch. I wish I had more of me to go with each kid every day and spend more one on one time.

So Elara was my wimpy buddy today. We were wimps together. I needed that because Connor isn't a wimp at all! He is just a crazy energetic boy who is so cute you can't help but want to squish him in a hug or pinch his cheek.

Wimpy once again...

The frantic Tuesday usually gets heavy at school pick up on Tuesdays. The kids rush home, do homework or chores and then the running around like chickens with their heads cut off begins. The kids got all their toys back from two week confinement from head lice (ya that happened and this wimp hated it!) The joy on their faces and the stuffed animals strewn throughout the house!

Kael got a ride to soccer. The girls ate dinner and then I dropped them off at gymnastics while I ran to get Kael and his buddy from soccer. Then we picked up Elara, dropped off friend came home fed Kael. Friend picked up Kael for scouts, and I went and picked up Eden from gymnastics. Frantic right!?! Am I where I need to be and am I going to be late panic. Thankfully there is only one more week like this since soccer ends a week after Saturday! I'm going to miss it though!

Elara got invited to join a more advanced gymnastics class. We are all so excited because that means one less class on a Tuesday! It is going to work out so great and she is learning so quickly!

This will hopefully free up some time in case the kid decide to do a sport in the spring that is on Tuesday and Thursdays.

Frantic and Wimpy. That is how I felt today.

So a funny story for your entertaining pleasure.

We have a Sharice size pirate skeleton Halloween decoration complete with a skeleton bird on it's shoulder. We call him Pirate Pete and the bird is Jack like Jack Sparrow.
Anyway, it is strategically placed in the dining room between walkways. I have told myself he is there a thousand times because D is gone and I scare easily.

D is always trying to scare us in random ways. Hide in a closet and jump out. Lye on the floor next to the bathroom and wait for you to come out. Put Nicholas Cage pictures on the toilet lid and cupboards for April Fools. Things like that. So, Pirate Pete is up his alley. He moved him all over the house before he left and scared me to death.

Back to the story. So because of his location I am always so careful walking into the dining room to remind myself "Pirate Pete is watching out for you don't be a WIMP!" And I handle it really well.
Well, tonight after turning off all the lights and all the kids are in bed I walk from the kitchen to the dining room (the opposite direction of how I prepare myself to see Pirate Pete). My guard was down. Oh it was so down to past the floor. I saw something in the corner of my eye! I walked around the corner and BAM $##%%#!!!!! Pirate Pete staring at me in the face! My cortisol levels instantly kicked into fight or flight mode and I'm not a fighter but a lover to flight was my option turns out! My heart instantly went to about a 1000 beats a minute. Wanted to scream bloody murder but the kids were in bed and somehow I kept my mouth shut, but I think that made my heart pound faster...

After grabbing my heart to hold it in my chest I tried to laugh, but seriously couldn't. STUPID PIRATE PETE! Then, I tell myself he is just watching out for you while D is gone. And repeat that to myself 100 times because the kids love him so much I can't take him down before Halloween, but man I have now thought about taking him down 100 times in the last hour...

Wimpy alone factor just went up to level 10 today. I'm not sure what that means as I haven't made a scale yet, but it's high I tell you, oh so high.

Oh joy, I am living an adventurous life having Pirate Pete around. I like a man with meat on his bones D so Pirate Pete is NOT a good replacement for you...

I miss you.

No kids in my bed tonight for the first night since you've been gone... Maybe that drops my wimpy alone factor to a 9 1/2. I might go grab Kael in a minute and let him in. We shall see.

Thanks for listening diary. I needed it tonight.

Love,
Wimpy Mom

Entry #4 Monday Madness

Dear Diary, October 22, 2018

It’s just another manic Monday. I wish I could say that today is a wimpy day, but for once it doesn’t seem that wimpy. Other than the laundry pile that I have to get through. Wow that makes me want to wimp out. Never mind.

I love days that I can accomplish a lot. When I wake up on time, and get the kids ready on time. I’m watching a friend’s kiddo today and he is an angel. Got my work out done! Made dinner in a crock pot. I mean it feels so great to accomplish so many things. Except the dumb laundry.

Sunday was so refreshing. Probably because I took a really long nap to catch up on lack of sleep from staying up WAY too late. However, all that said even with little feet and hands kicking me in the face all night I wake up and I feel good. I’m not sure how that is possible, but it is happening. I think it is a tender mercy from heaven.

We just had a general conference for our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We have a living prophet just like when Jesus Christ was on the earth with 12 apostles. It is truly amazing and what’s even better is that every 6 months we can listen to them. Well the prophet just asked us to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year. That’s about 6-10 pages a day. This book is amazing and it gives me so much strength. I’m so grateful for a living prophet who can help me on my journey. God can let me know what I need to succeed and it comes through the prophet.

Anyway, in the book I am reading about Nephi. A young man whose family was asked to flee Jerusalem and come to American continent. So many times, in his history he writes to keep the commandants diligently. Or to faithfully keep the commandments and you will be blessed. I know that Derek and I try so hard to live good and faithful lives. Because of this I know we are blessed. I know that’s how I have the energy to wake up and take care of these 4 kids day in and day out and sometimes all night long.

When we make good choices our lives are blessed.  I’m so grateful I chose to start over to read the Book of Mormon. It has a couple scriptures that have comforted me while Derek is away. 

The first is 1 Nephi 3:7.

It says,

“And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.”

Derek and I prayed about whether we should join the military or not. We felt VERY strongly that this would be a challenge our family would need to face. I know that the Lord commanded us to do this, and I also know that we can accomplish this! We will get through his deployment. We need to stay faithful and keep the commandments.

My second favorite scripture was earlier 1 Nephi 1:20. I have read this chapter so many times in my life and this is the first time it has stuck in my heart.

“… the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith.”

Derek and I have had SO MANY tender mercies this last month preparing us. We were so lucky to find out early he would be leaving. We were so lucky to have an entire month together without him having to go to work every day. We had TIME. We haven’t had that much in the last four years so it has been a true tender mercy. Our children have been blessed with extremely good friends this year. Their teachers are helping and checking in on them every day!

The day Derek left we had a rally of people to support me and the kids. So many tender mercies!

We had the faith to make this choice, to do hard things. I know we are blessed because of it. I’m so grateful for tender mercies.

Derek is on his last flight of the journey today. So close to finally getting there. We are excited to get it all started officially! Time to WORK!

I guess I should get back to the laundry…. I feel wimpy again. Haha

Oh boy.

Till next time,

Wimpy Mom signing out